Tag: parenting

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Gentle Homeschooling

I named my business The Gentle Learning Company with this picture in mind:

Mothers snuggling with their children and reading beautiful literature and poetry, studying carefully crafted art pieces, reading God’s Word, and listening to classical music together. 

Can you see it? It’s a wonderful thing! 

I create reading lists for moms, to point them to such beautiful moments with a kind of order and structure. A reading list, alone, cannot create this kind of scene, though. It begins with gentleness.

What does gentleness begin with? A right heart.

A love of others, including our children, recognizing them as unique individuals, created by God. They are fully human, even though they haven’t “arrived’ in their knowledge and maturity (spoiler: neither have we).

Deference to others. A willingness to set aside our wants, even our “rights,” for the sake of another. In my estimation, this may be the single greatest mark of maturity in a human. 

I am not suggesting that we allow a child’s mood, temper or wants to rule the homeschool day. There can be order in a gentle homeschool environment–order with flexibility that acknowledges the personhood of each family member. 

Rigidity does not belong in a gentle homeschool environment. Rigidity often stems from a selfish desire to control. Sometimes it arises because we felt a lack of control in some other area of life, or perhaps in childhood. God has the power to heal this.

Harsh words should have no place in a gentle home. Even words of correction can be spoken in gentleness. Again, we are recognizing our family members as persons–created by God, with value and purpose.

Gentle homeschooling includes a smile and a softness of eyes. There will be moments of displeasure, when the smile disappears briefly, but the soft eyes should remain. It may take work to smile. God can heal this, too.

Ultimately, gentleness comes from the heart within. Sometimes, people want to show gentleness, but their heart is full of so much hurt that the opposite comes out. God, the great healer, can mend that brokenness. Let Him fill you up so that your days can be filled with gentleness!

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When God Calls Your Child to be a Missionary

Our second-born, Kaleb, flew over the ocean to England, last week.. He’ll be gone for ten weeks, on a mission trip, serving people in Romania. Last year, he spent ten weeks serving at a parish in York, England. You’d think the parting would get easier, but I can honestly tell you: I’ve shed some tears! Last year it may have been a little easier because he lived in the dorm all year & only came home on Sundays after church, so it was common that he him being out of the house most of the time. This school year, he lived at home and commuted, and we all got used to having him around. Plus, for some reason, England feels a little safer in my head than Romania does (maybe it’s because they speak English). I know that’s crazy. 

When Kaleb was 6 years old, he told us that he knew God was calling him to be a missionary. We embraced it! These are some things that worked for us & I want to encourage you to do these things:

  1. Encourage them & let go of the fears. They’re not ours, we’re just entrusted,= by God, to raise them–they’re His. See, we went through all of the missionary biographies as the kids grew up. We even spent a year going through a missionary curriculum that Ann Dunnagan created. Our family also loves the YWAM Christian Heroes series by Geoff and Janet Benge! I know how some of those stories turn out–like Jim Elliot–the Stams–I bet you’ve heard the stories. But I have to let it go–Kaleb is 21 years old and called by God to go to this place. Who am I to argue with that? Or to keep him here, selfishly, for myself? Yes, it’s hard. But–I believe in a BIG God who has a beautiful big picture that I can’t see. I trust Him.
  2. Embrace it–go to missions conferences, read missionary biographies, and have missionaries over to dinner. We did all of that & I think it was all worthwhile! We used to attend Mission Connexion in Oregon & it was so good for our whole family.
  3. Pray!!! God will guide your child and also comfort you!
  4. Give as you can. Let your child ask others in the church, in their friend group & in the family for funds to support the work they’re doing overseas–it’s good for them to have to do this. And, when they’re in a pinch and they need to buy plane tickets right away but the check hasn’t come in–be there for your kid, if you can.

Your child may not also embrace the idea of missions, but I believe that if God truly put it in your child’s heart, He’ll bring it to light again. Sadly, Kaleb stopped talking about it around his middle school years, and up through his freshman year in college. He’d been around some other kids who came from pretty wealthy families & then desires for a nice car and a nice house crept in, and those goals seemed like they might not fit with the life of a missionary. He entered college at Liberty University with a goal of working in the music industry in Nashville–which Kaleb totally has the talent for, but it had nothing to do with missions. Then, one day at LU’s convocation, Kaleb heard David Platt speak. I love David Platt’s messages, because he reminds Christians what our role is on this earth. Kaleb came home and asked “Mom, why did I ever stop talking about missions? I KNOW God put it on my heart.” That was a wonderful conversation! That year, Kaleb went to Englad all summer. This year, he’s in Romania. He isn’t sure what the future (after college) will hold, but he trusts (and we trust) that God will direct his path.

This is me & Kaleb, cooking Greek food before he left. He’s probably going to try actual Greek food, because his debrief week is in Greece. Yum.

Please pray for Kaleb this summer!

Do you have a child who wants to be a missionary?

Do you have any other tips? Any mamas of missionaries out there?